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Alive! One Uruguayan's Story of Deprivation and Survival at the Merseyside

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Major Lazer - Pon De Floor [Feat. Vybz Kartel]- suitably happy music from out of left field

So hey, good news, right? According to the mothership, soccernet, and The Guardian we have managed to sign one Luis Suarez from Ajax. As long as he provides some width and pace, and doesn't eat anybody still breathing, this works for me. Is he world class right now? Debatable. Could he become world class in stunningly quick fashion ( a la Cristiano Ronaldo)? Quite possibly- all the physical requirements for success in the EPL are there. Hopefully his impossible pace in the Eiderdivise translates to better than average pace in the EPL.

It also looks like we managed to fend Chelsea off for Torres. This is probably good (understatement, I think, unless Abramovich was going to drop a hundred million on him, and even then we would probably just make a polite phone call to refuse instead of laughing him off )- I don't see Torres as fitting particularly well in Ancelotti's system, mostly because the guy who plays his position wouldn't take well to shifting (Drogba) and Torres doesn't like being on the wing. In fact, Torres really seems to enjoy the space provided him when wingers push past him towards the box in Liverpool's current system, making teams like Barcelona and Real Madrid the teams we have to fear when linked to him (Madrid will never buy him apparently. This confuses me). So I hope we don't sell Torres, and that the team doesn't get unsettled by the news. We're mathematically still in it for Chelsea's place, by the way, and given how everyone but Manchester United and Arsenal are playing we could and should push for a UCL spot.

So are we done in the transfer market? I was sort of hoping for a loan recall of Aquilani from Juve (we still own his contract, no?). We need maybe a squad winger with pace to rotate through the squad (Jovanovic could do this, even though he shows a lack of width). I wonder if we sell Jovanovic or Konchesky before the deadline on Monday.